Sunday, January 20, 2013

All this time We've had a Mermaid on Our Hands

Again, this post is going to pretty dog-laden:

Is that the cutest co-pilot you've ever seen?

Is that the cutest, weirdest, kangaroo-esque, little bundle you have ever seen?

So, we totally cut back on alcohol last week all up in this piece.  My CFS gave me the middle finger big time and I was pretty much bed-ridden except for Xtend Barre and working at Anthro.  I deserved it and then some.  I had really underestimated how much I'd been indulging and how hard it is for my crap health to keep it together in such awful, self-imposed circumstances.  I feel SO much better!  So does our bank account!  

Speaking of Xtend, I was having an incredibly difficult time getting out of bed on Thursday and I was really sore from Wednesday's class.  Nothing short of The Force was going to get me out of bed.  I threw on my Star Wars leggings and a yoga shirt, which I tuck in.  It looks pretty ridiculous, but I find it more comfortable.  I mean, I had no dignity anyways... not even enough to try and get off the remnants of waterproof mascara that I couldn't remove the night before- I need y'all to help me find a good make-up remover!!!  Basically I looked sexy as hell and made it to class with no time to spare:

We needed a photo break there.  It felt right.  At any rate, to my great surprise and horror two girls from cityhomeCOLLECTIVE were there to take pictures of our class.  All the instructors were dolled up, hair and make-up.  Everyone was wearing Lululemon and looking, well, appropriate.  And then there was me.  I could have opted not to be photographed, but I decided to say, "SCREW YOU!" to my body dysmorphia and self-loathing and just go for it.  So, yeah, keep your eyes peeled for their blog and my little arse clad in Vader and the Emperor. 

Remember how I was going to keep you updated on Erica Weiner's piece for Antro?  

Better late than never?  This dreamy necklace also comes in silver glitter.  It's as if you were Angelina Jolie and this were Billy Bob Thornton's blood except in this case Billy Bob is a unicorn, or a leprechaun.  Get it around your neck.

Today I was inspired (or bored out of my gourd... it rhymes, it must be true) by my husband and my unfinished project:


And that's how Guy and I ended up here:

That is one seriously princess-y mermaid, y'all.  This in turn led me to keep dressing the dog up to create his very own look book.  Like, he's all, "Hey, Atlantic-Pacific, SIT DOWN!"  Dog's got style.  He is one gender-bending ball of awesomeness.  I had a Pinterest board created for just such an occasion, but Pinterest is being a total dick.  It would not let me upload any of my photos.  I was cool about it.  I decided to create an account with thereby giving the photos a URL from which to pin.  To no avail.  I'm still pretty bent out of shape about it, but for now you can see Guy in all his girlish glory at my imgur.  You will not regret it. 

Speaking of dressing dog's up:

OMGZ!  Guy NEEDS this... to look like my husband.  There is so much need for this, it's ridiculous.  And there are instructions on how to recreate it!  While I am certainly a suitable seamstress, this goes far beyond my prowess of the sewing machine.  We are totally taking bids- like, WE WILL PAY YOU- to make this for Guy.  I'm also going to ask my tailor, who is nothing short of amazing, but I thought I'd put it out there for you first, dear reader, because I care... or whatever.

Hey, let's wrap this schnitzel up!


Monday:  I actually cooked.  I made a very low-fat noodle kugel (low-fat is totally a relative term when addressing a noodle kugel, however).  The recipe is on my (uncooperative) Pinterest.  I have a very special hate in my soul reserved for raisins, so I alter the recipe.  This is like the most protein you will ever get in one casserole.

We also had more salad with that awesome greek dressing from last week.

Tuesday: We got gyros from Crown Burger.  I haven't had a gyro in over a year and that's so wrong in so many ways.  Especially with the bounty of Greek food available in Salt Lake... I contend that Greek Souvlaki has a way better gyro in case you were wondering.

Wednesday: Leftovers aka I had to work, so we each fended for ourselves.

Thursday: I "made" a Stouffer's lasagna *headdesk*.  They're good and I was tired.  Sue me!  More salad with more awesome dressing as well.

Friday:  Martine, oh such sweet heaven thou art! We splurged on a nice dinner as a pat on the back for our awesomely sober week.

Saturday: We whetted our Red Iguana tastebuds last week, so this time we headed down to the actual restaurant to grab take out.  If you haven't had the Enchiladas Amarillas, you have not lived!

Sunday:  We went to my parents' house per usual and my mom made a pretty bland "Mediterranean" chicken.  Not all recipes turn out as good as they sound.  C'est la vie...

That's a wrap!  So went there.  Kind of regretting it.


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