"Well, guess whose soft lil' arse didn't make it to yoga last week?", she proclaimed rhetorically. I really cannot remember why Tuesday night didn't happen, but I think it may have had something to do with the Intro to Stats class that my husband teaches at the local liberal arts college. But, really, we may never know. So, we decided to be resolved, dammit! Come hell or high water, we were going to yoga on Thursday! But we didn't because it's been a brutal week. On said Thursday I took my poor, broken-ankled dad and my handicapped brother to lunch. Afterwards we decided to pick up the kids and go see my mother at the bookstore where she
works. Our driveway is incredibly icy because
somebody never shoveled it this winter. I knew I had to be careful getting Cooper into the car (I always lift him in and out). I found a dry patch and waited for him to get to me, but he took his little leap too soon and I had to step my left foot onto the ice to catch him and we both went down. Hard. I tried to brace all of the fall myself, but my poor, sweet, darling took some of it. So, yoga was out and tempers were high. Then things started to fall into place. We had Coopsies' first acupuncture and rehab appointment all set up for Monday. Magically, my property manager FINALLY came through with a renter. I am not a litigious person, but we were out a few thousand due to her negligence, so she was JUST in time.
But, alas! I forgot to wash my sheets on Thursday BEFORE the Chinese New Year and did them on Friday. "Oh, hello good luck, I'd like to wash you away first thing because I'm doing so well on my own." But I thought I was safe because it's the year of the horse and I'm a horse. I assumed automatic luck.
Not so. My girlfriend was home in Hong Kong for the New Year and she warned me that this is a bad year for me. I need to haul ass and get some sheep figurines to keep me safe. I don't take chances with this stuff. Are all horses highly superstitious?
So, Monday rolls around and the lease has just been signed and we are headed to borrow my dad's car for our trip to Park City for acupuncture. My car is having issues that we can't afford to fix right now with the oxygen sensor, so I felt this was safest. Maybe not. Since I had recently taken up a habit of falling hard while carrying my 60lb child, why not keep it up? I did. And how. I missed the last step of my parents' back porch and went down. REALLY hard. I took it all in my right knee this time, but at least I managed to hold Coops up and he remained unscathed. It's not like I need good knees considering all the lifting and carrying of the babe that I do. Next thing to go will be the back. Don't need that either. So, two major falls in less than a week. Go me!
But we made it to acupuncture, which turned into a circus because the vet, unfamiliar with my children, gave them treats at the START of the appointment. This turned into an hour and a half of food hysteria. But we got 'er did and hopefully we'll be seeing results soon. We have another appointment tomorrow and yet another on Monday. And this gentleman of leisure...
... championed his way through one of his more difficult chemo treatments today. So, it's been the most expensive week ever. And, don't you fret your pretty little head, I'm just as soft as ever and my thighs are expanding by the minute.
If you want to help with our expenses, please consider buying some of my clothes. I have posted 6 pieces on Poshmark.com under the moniker lilarkin and I have hoards more to come. The posts were somehow directed to my Twitter (which I have never figured out because... long-winded, anyone?). You can find them there under the moniker @pariswithoutyou. Buy some clothes, save a life. It's NBD to you because you're a hero like that. And that's why I love you. Now get shopping.