They couldn't keep us away. They tried to make Guy's chemo an every other week deal. Well, Coopsies was not having it. Any of it. He promptly got a terrible infection from the pollution and when we figured that out, he messed up his poor back leg. So, now the little bug is taking 50mg of tramadol every 8 hours for the next 5 days. That's the dose I take for my CFIDD when I get agonizing pain in my bones and tendons. And it kicks my ass. And, surprisingly, I do weigh more than my little fatty. He's totally on a diet too. We're praying that by taking it easy and subduing the pain, he will heal on his own, but I definitely foresee physical therapy in his future, which is why you should buy my husband's ridiculously fancy BMW 5 series sports class in midnight blue. It's your colour. Seriously. You look so damn good in midnight blue. It totally goes with your eyes or whatever.
You should also rent my condo.
I love that little condo. What it lacks in floor plan, it magically makes up for in closet space. If you know me, you know that lack of closet space is a major deal breaker. And that kitchen! Oh, how I love that beautiful kitchen. Bonus: SUPER dog friendly... like there is an onsite dog park and it's nice. I could go on and list the amenities for days, or you could just go see it yourself and sign a lease. Because, seriously, my condo goes with your eyes or whatever. In all honesty, I lived there for 3 years and it is legit, as my 13-year-old niece would assure you.
And while you're at it, buy my clothes, why don't ya?
There are some pretty sweet Betsey Johnson stilettos in there as well. Certainly ONE of my dapper duds really does go with your eyes. Chemo ain't cheap, y'all, but the prices on my clothes are!
How can you say no to that face? You can't. You just can't.
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